Maybe It's Time To Change
by Emyli-Rozenburgh
Summary: For his whole life Riku as always thought that he deserved this. He has been forced into thinking this. So when him and his friends get back to Destiny Islands will things change? Involves cutting, self hating, child abuse and later on lemon. SoRiku
1. Issues

So pretty much this is my first fanfic that I'm actually trying to finish. I will apologize for the spelling errors now. Sorry about that my computer fails and doesn't have spell checker thingy. So let me know what you guys think. I got the name of this story from the song Maybe by Sick Puppies and pretty much all of the chapters are inspired by a song.

This is a SoRiku fanfic and will contain lemon later on... Well maybe. You don't like it then don't read it, Simple as that. I of course do not own any characters in this story Square Enix does.

When we got back to Destiny Islands nothing changed for me. I remember being so thrilled to be back. Both of Sora and Kairi's parents were so happy to see them. Of course my parents hugged and kissed me like the other parents but I knew better. I knew that was for show; they just wanted people to continue to think we were a great happy family.

By the second day of me being home I was back to taking care of myself while my parents were off somewhere. They never wanted me and I've known that since I was 7 years old. That's when I started taking care of myself because they were never home. After I started taking care of myself I soon became jealous of Sora and Kairi. They had everything. Parents that loved them, all the toys they could ever want and they had each other.

"Riku?"

I was brought out of my memory by a short, tanned, spiky brunette splashing water in my face and calling my name. "Riku what's with you today? You've been kind of distant lately." Sora said.

Kairi came behind Sora looking at me with worry in her eyes. "Yeah if you didn't want to go swimming you should have said something. We could have found something else to do." The redhead said. I looked at my watch seeing that it was already 7 o'clock. "I uh should get going" I said as I walked away leaving them both looking at each other with worry.

When I walked into my house no one was there. I looked into the living room that had white walls and black furniture with white and black checkered pillows on them. That room was always clean and everything was set perfectly. My mother hated it when i came in there and ruined her perfect room. I walked to the kitchen and saw a note written by my mom saying that they wouldn't be home for 2 weeks. "Why did they even bother to write a note?" I said staring at the blue walls of the kitchen. I left the kitchen and walked upstairs to my bedroom.

When I got to my bedroom I didn't bother to turn on a light. I walked straight to the bathroom that was connected to my room and put my silver hair in a loose ponytail. Next I walked into my closet and grabbed a piece of glass. I know I shouldn't be cutting but I couldn't help it. I used to feel guilty for it and tried to stop but I felt addicted to cutting in some weird way. Like in my mind I didn't really want to stop. I like the way the pain felt and I also liked that it was the only pain that I could control. Even then no matter how much I liked it I couldn't stop thinking of what Sora and Kairi would think. Would they think I'm pathetic, would they hate me or would they try and help me? Either way I couldn't let them find out, I couldn't go through all the looks and questions. The worry. I hated it when people worried about me. So to make sure they would never find out I didn't cut myself on the arms, I cut myself on the legs.

I started making lines on my leg with the cold piece of glass. I let the warm crimson liquid glide across my leg. Before the blood fell to the floor I wiped it away. Once the cuts stopped bleeding I cleaned up the blood that accidently made it the floor, put the glass away, and then put the towel with blood on it in the washing machine. After doing all this i decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I didn't know where I was going and I didn't care. I could feel the sting of the cuts running through my leg. It didn't bother me as it normally would. I guess getting used to the sting of the cuts. The next thing I knew my feet lead me to the beach.

The cool breeze and sound of the waves made everything peaceful, like nothing bad has ever happened. That was soon interrupted by someone calling my name.

"Riku?"

Sora's P.O.V

I couldn't take my mind off of Riku. I was still worried about him. Lately he's been so distant and doesn't want to talk to anyone. I thought everything would be the same once we got back to Destiny Islands. It would be like none of that stuff happened but something changed; Riku changed. I used to think that we were best friends; we could tell each other everything. While I was thinking I didn't notice that I was walking to the beach. As soon as my feet hit the cold sand I saw a silver haired person sitting on the beach.

"Riku?" I couldn't help but be a little curious and a little shocked to see him here.

"Uhh hey Sora. What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same thing. Today you were kinda well you know."

"Oh, sorry about that. I had a lot on my mind."

When he said this I noticed he wouldn't look at me and I knew that something was wrong. I had to do something and quick. I had to figure out what was going on with Riku.

Riku's P.O.V.

I couldn't take Sora's piercing blue eyes staring at me. For once I felt to guilty. I couldn't take it anymore. Sora was the only person that knew how to make me feel guilty without having to do anything. Just the thought of upsetting him kills me inside and that's why he can never find out. I couldn't handle it if I ever upset him. Of course I would never say this to him; he would probably think I'm a freak for having a crush on him. He would probably hate me and plus everyone knows that him and Kairi were meant to be. People could tell just by the way that they looked at each other.

Next thing I knew he came and sat by me. I tried to make it look like I was focusing on the ocean. Sora looked like he wanted to say something. In fact I knew he most defiantly wanted to say something. The question was what though and did I really want to know.

Sora's P.O.V.

I didn't know what to say or how I would even say it if I had something to say. I didn't know where to begin. All I knew was that I had to figure out what was wrong with him.

"So uh R-Riku do you want to come over? I mean well we could hang out just the two of us and if you want you can stay the night." Urgh I was rambling. I hate it when I ramble

"Yeah sure that would be fine. I should probably just run home and get some stuff."

"Ok well then how about you do that and I'll go home and order a pizza and stuff."

I quickly walked home. I didn't really know where I was gonna go with this and how I was going to get him to tell me but having him over is a good place to start right? I hate seeing Riku upset. We've been friends forever and he's always there for me so why does it seem like I'm never there for him? Cause he never lets me in, that's why. By the time I ordered the pizzas and kinda cleaned my room so you could at least see the floor Riku was knocking on my door. So I ran to let my silver haired friend in.

"Hey Riku!" I tried to sound happy but I just ended up sounding high pitched and awkward

"Hey Sora." Riku said with a giggle

After we ate a whole bunch of pizza watched a couple of movies and played loads of video games it was already 3 in the morning. We were about to go to bed when I finally decided I had to ask him. It was now or never right? I couldn't take not knowing anymore.

"R-Riku today I know that the whole you had a lot on your mind thing was a lie. You've been so distant and I'm worried about you. Riku you're my best friend, and it pains me to see you upset." It really did kill me knowing he was upset but even worse it killed me to sit here pretending like I don't have feelings for him. When really all want to do right now is kiss him and make everything he's feeling go away.

Riku's P.O.V

I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him the truth. I don't think I would be able to handle it if he knew the truth. I couldn't take the chances of losing him. But yet it would kill me to lie to him. I'm tired of lying to everybody. That's all I've been doing my whole life. How is it even possible that I've managed to lie to him all these years and not go insane? I feel like I'm on edge and the simplest thing could send me crashing down. That's it I have to tell him. But should I really just come out and say it? I went to open my mouth to tell him but I couldn't make the words come out. I couldn't find the words that I need to say. So instead I did what I normally would do. "Sora you worry too much. Come on let's play Left 4 Dead some more." I quickly picked up the controller and started picking the location and my character.

Sora's P.O.V.

Riku looked like he was confused or either that just didn't want to talk about it. He quickly picked up the controller but I wouldn't let this conversation end. I had to know even if I had to bug him all night I would find out what was wrong with him.

"Riku seriously what's going on with you? We've been friends forever but now that I think about it I feel like a barely know you. You never tell me anything were as I'm usually confessing everything to you."

He quickly turned away not wanting to look me into the eyes. I don't know why he always had to change the subject whenever I asked him something. It was actually really annoying. Now that I think about the only annoying thing was how it was possible that I've been so naive all these years we've been friends. I was always thinking the world was one big happy story but now I'm starting to notice everything that I've tried to block out of my mind. Maybe Riku isn't the one who changed. I guess he's always been like this; I was just too blinded to see what was really going on.

Riku's P.O.V.

"Sora its just things haven't been totally peachy with my family. That's it just some stupid family issues. Nothing else it wrong. I promise you." Well I wasn't totally lying to him. I just wasn't giving him the full truth. I wished he would just drop the subject and let me be. I didn't need this one little conversation to push me over the edge. But then again I don't know why I'm getting so annoyed by this I mean he's just worried about me. He's being a good friend. But I still couldn't handle the questions, I never could. "Well I'm super tired so maybe it would be best to go to bed. 'Night Sora." "Goodnight Riku."

End Chapter 1

All I can really say is please review. I want to know if my first actual fanfic is a fail or not. I should be uploading soonish. I already have up to chapter 3 written, and I'm just now working on chapter 4. So I'll probably upload depending if anyone actually wants to read more. ^-^


	2. I Need A Hero

So here is the second chapter. I'm pretty there was something that I wanted to say but I completely forgot. ^-^ Oh how I feel so smart right now. Obviously this is kinda like all other stories that have to do with cutting and child abuse but I'm trying to make it my own. The title of this chapter I Need A Hero is from the song Hero by Skillet. :D

Riku's P.O.V.

When I woke up Sora was still sleeping. He of course looked adorable sleeping. I couldn't wake him up. He was probably super tired from staying up so late. So I decided that I would write him a note and go home. I searched his room for a piece of paper and a pen. On the walk home I couldn't help but think of last night. I knew that I had to eventually tell him the whole truth but then again I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach saying that I shouldn't bring it up to him. Go on living my life and never telling anyone. Now that I thought about it that sounded like a good plan. Never letting anyone know. Life would be so much easier. When I got home I noticed the front door was unlocked. 'Hm I know I locked this before I went over to Sora's house' I walked in to see my father in the living room and my mother in the kitchen cooking. "Uh what are you guys doing back I thought you were going to be gone for a couple of weeks?"

I decided I would ask my mom this question because she was much nicer then my father. Actually she was only a complete bitch because of him. Whenever he was gone on business trips she was the only person I could count on when I was younger. He has only been abusive to her but after I was born he turned to me and left her alone. Then for some reason she turned against me. That's when she started acting like I was nothing and that I would never amount to anything in the world. But yet there was times when she was nice to me and treated me like her son again like she did when I was younger.

"Well Riku-" She started to say but then my dad came into the kitchen and cut her off. He was obviously drunk again. "Where the hell have you been?" He screamed I could smell the taste of alcohol on his breath.

"I spent the night at Sora's"

"Why the fuck would he want you to be at his house. He's not your friend. He never will be. God Dammit Riku when will you learn nobody wants you nobody cares for you. You're lucky enough to even be living here. I should have kicked you out years ago." After he said this he slapped me across the face. He slapped me much harder than he ever did. I wouldn't dare let him get the satisfaction by showing that it actually hurt. So when I just stood there not doing anything he punched me in the face and walked away.

I looked at my mom and for once she actually had a sad look in her eyes like she was sorry for what happened. For a moment I actually believed that she was but I knew better. She was never sorry. She ALWAYS took his side and blamed me for everything.

I walked up to my room and slammed my door shut. I slided down to the floor and held my knees to my chest. I felt tears starting to come down my face. They were mocking me. Laughing at me as the rolled down my cheeks. For the first time in 10 years I let the tears roll down. Not caring that I was crying. I knew the one thing that could get me past this night. The one thing that I secretly craved for. So I got up and walked over to my closet and grabbed the piece of glass that I kept hidden in a box behind a bunch of shoes. I locked my door so my dad couldn't come in and do god knows what to me. I started to cut myself so much deeper then I have before. I made each cut longer then the next one. Three cuts because I keep lying to Sora. Another cut because I know that I deserve all this. I let out a small cry because of the pain.

"Riku?"

"Sora what are you doing. I mean why are-" I couldn't even think of anything to say. Hell I couldn't even think! I was so shocked to see him here.

"What are you doing to yourself? Why would you do this?" He said falling down next to me. He had tears in his eyes. He couldn't stop looking at my cuts on my legs. He gently ran his fingers over the cuts. Being careful to not hurt me.

"Sora, you were never supposed to see this. I never meant for you to find out."

"Riku answer me! Why would you do this?" He sounded mad and he was glaring at me. I somehow new this would happen. He hates me now. When I looked up at him I noticed that he was crying. And I instantly hated myself for making him cry.

Sora's P.O.V.

I woke up to find a note on my pillow.

_Hey, Sora. I didn't want to wake you. I figured I should let you sleep. I'm mean we all know how you get when you stay up super late. So uh I decided to go home. Maybe I'll stop by later. I'm not really sure though. So uh see you later. Sleep Tight._

_~Riku._

I laughed at the note. Of course only he would make fun of me because I get really loopy when I stay up really late. Well at least I figured out what was bugging him. I feel less worried about him. I started to clean up my room. Putting the pizza boxes in the trashcan outside. I started picking up the video games that scattered the floor and putting them away. After I finished cleaning the house it was already 4 o' clock. I left my parents a note that I would be over at Riku's. I mean why not surprise him.

When I got to his house I heard someone screaming. So I figured I would climb the tree that was by his house and go in through his bedroom window. I remember when we were younger we would always do this whenever we were bored. So for the fun of it we would randomly come through each other's windows. I climbed up the tree with ease. When I started to go through his window I noticed Riku on the floor. I also heard him crying. I silently walked over to him and that's when I saw the cuts on his thighs. I was shocked. I didn't know it was this bad.

"Riku?" everything after that was a blur. I couldn't help but cry. How could I have let this happen to my best friend? How could I let things get this bad? How could I have been so naive. I should have known that it was so much more than his parents fighting. But then again I always thought that Riku would never do something like this. I thought he was emotionally stronger than that. "Riku come on, we have to get you out of here." I said trying to pick him up but of course he's much bigger than me so that didn't work out to well. "Riku please come with me!" He just sat there. I feel back to the floor. "Please, why won't you come with me?" It was probably hard to understand me because I was crying so hard. He just looked up at me. "Sora I can't come with you. I-I deserve this."

"Riku..." I grabbed his jaw so he was looking at me. "Riku you don't deserve any of this. Please...I-I can't lose you. Not to something like this." I said the last part quietly so he could barely hear me. Honestly I could barely hear myself!

"You don't understand! I do deserve this. I've been lying to you and everyone else. My parents hate me because I can't do anything right. Don't you see Sora? This was all my choice! I wanted to do it. I like doing this, it makes me feel better."

"Don't you see what they've done to you? The Riku I used to know would never do this. The old Riku was stronger than this! Honestly where did he go? I rather have him back. At least he wouldn't do this to his friends! I was so mad. I felt horrible for saying all of this. I didn't mean any of it but the words wouldn't' keep coming out of my mouth.

"Seriously Sora! You don't know shit! I've been doing this since I was 14! So you say you miss the old Riku well news flash I've never changed! I guess I am a sucky friend. I will admit that but I didn't tell you because I couldn't stand to see you upset."

"Riku? Did you honestly think it was going to be any better if you kept it to yourself your whole life? It would be hurting me know matter what." I was pissed by now but I was more pissed at myself then at Riku. I stormed over to his window and left.

Riku's P.O.V.

I can't believe that actually happened. I quickly put the glass in my closet and I was about to go after him when I heard my drunken dad banging on my door. "RIKU!"

End Chapter 2

Please Review! It would make me really happy. ~


	3. I'm Not OkI Promise

Sora's P.O.V

I hated the fact that I yelled at Riku when he needed me the most. Maybe I should go back? No that wouldn't be good. He probably wouldn't want to see me after everything that just happened. I was still shocked that he was actually cutting himself. How could he have been doing this for so long without me knowing? Sad thing is that he thought he actually deserved this. After everything we've been through I can't believe he still thinks that. I went through hell to find him, and then I find out that he's been lying to everyone along. I still remember the day I saw him again. It was sad to think about it. Specially the Nobody Axel. He said he did those things so he could see _him_ again. Now that I think about it I would have done the same thing that Axel did just to see Riku again.

I fell to the ground and was shocked by how cold the sand actually was. Why does this have to happen? Why do things have to be so complicated? I started to cry again. "I'm so sorry Riku. I never meant a single word I said. Please all I want to do is help you." I said out load. Wishing I was saying it to him. "I promise you. I will find away to make all of this to go away. I will help you."

Riku's P.O.V.

"RIKU! Open the fucking door!" I heard him screaming. I felt frozen. I didn't know if I should open the door or run away and live in a cave somewhere so he could never find me again. I went and opened the door. I knew it would be much worse if I ran. I was greeted by him punching me in the stomach. I fell to the ground in pain. He picked me up by my hair and pushed me into the wall. My father shut the door. "Why do you fight me Riku? We all know that you will never be loved. You're nothing. Look at you! I can't believe I'm actually the father of something as awful as you. Why couldn't you just stay gone? It would have been much better without you. Your mother and I were finally happy that you were gone. God why can't you just go away and die? Make everyone happy! I'm sure everyone is getting tired of seeing your hideous face every day. Especially Sora." I wanted to fight back. I knew I couldn't. If I did things would only get worse. He knew exactly how to make me want to kill myself. Instead of beating he broke me down emotionally with words. He began punching me in the gut. Right before he was about to go he punched me in the face as hard as he could. He let go of the hold he had of me and I fell to the ground hitting my dresser with my arm on the way down. "Just be lucky. That's the only punishment you're getting tonight. I promise you I won't go so easy on you next time." He walked out of my room and slammed my door shut.

I slowly got up, using my dresser to help me. Fuck this kills. I can't stay here. What if he gets pissed off at something else and decided to come back up here. I climbed out my window almost falling off the tree about twenty times because I felt so weak. I decided to go to the only person I could. When I got to Sora's house his dad answered the door. "Hello Riku. Nice to see you again."

"Yeah nice to see you too. Is Sora around?"

"No he's not? He left a note saying he was going to your house."

"Yeah he came by but we kinda got in a small argument and he stormed off. Do you think it's ok if I wait here for him?"

"Sure ya can." He said. I walked quickly to Sora's room. I laid on his bed for what seemed like a moment but I was quickly woken by someone slamming the door. I flinched not realizing I was at Sora's. Sora must have seen me freak because he ran over and put his arms around me. "It's ok Riku. I promise I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Sora..He...He came to my room after you left. I wanted to come after you and say I was sorry but he was drunk again and." I started to cry. Once again not caring. I clung on to Sora not wanting to let go. I didn't ever want to get hurt again.

Sora's P.O.V.

I hated seeing Riku like this it broke my heart. He was never one to cry. I wanted to make everything better but I don't if I can. I mean I'm only one person. One person can't make someone's problems just disappear overnight. It's gonna take time and I am fully willing to help him as long as he needs it. I would never give up on Riku. I care for him to much. I figured I should give him time to calm down before I start asking him questions. I could probably ask him tomorrow in the afternoon after my parents leave for work. It would be Saturday so we wouldn't have anything to do except hang out at my house all day. So that gives me a good chance. "Riku, shh it's ok. He's not gonna hurt you anymore. I won't let it happen. Come on how about we get some sleep?" I gently pulled him off of me and laid him down on my bed and pulled my covers over him. After turning off the lights I slid into bed with him. I could feel my eyes getting heavier. Right before I was about to drift off to sleep I could hear Riku talking. "How does he know my dad won't hurt me again? How can he be so sure?" I didn't know if I should say something. I felt like I was gonna cry, so I just shut my eyes. I could feel the tears coming down and I was so happy that it was pitch black so he couldn't see me crying.

Riku's P.O.V.

When I woke up the next morning I noticed that Sora wasn't there. I could smell someone cooking downstairs. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 12 in the afternoon. "This means Sora's parents probably won't be here. Which also means he's probably going to wanna talk about last night. Well I guess this is now or never." I got up and walked down stairs to the kitchen were Sora was making pizza.

"Hey there sleepy head. Why don't you take a seat the pizza will be done soonish." I sat down and there was a long awkward pause.

"Riku I know this is probably the last thing you wanna talk about but... why do you do that to yourself? Why did you ever start?

Ok So I know my chapters are really short but I'm trying to make up for that by making chapter 4 longish. It's pretty much going to be all about his past. I think the Riku and His dad scene kinda failed but I think words are much stronger then physical violence which is why I put that in there. Thanks to the people who have reviewed so far! :D also I think in chapter 4 I might have a little SoRiku scene but no smexah. Also I just had to fight Axel in there because one I love him :D and two I thought it kind of fit. Since Axel cared so much for Roxas and Obviously Sora cares a lot about Riku and wants nothing bad to happen to him. Title of this chapter: I'm Not Ok (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance. I kind of had a hard time trying to come up with a title for this chapter. Anyways I don't know when I will be uploading chapter 4 since I'm not even half-way done with it yet. Hopefully sometime next week though.


	4. Heartkiller

Ok so here's chapter 4. Since I haven't done this forever and keep forgetting I do not own any KH characters in the story and never will. So most of this chapter is Riku's past and then random things here and there. Ohh and Merry Early Christmas and a Happy New Year. .

* * *

"Sora I-I don't know if I can tell you why."

"Riku why?"

"Because I promised myself that I would never hurt you." I said looking up at the ceiling avoiding eye contact with Sora. He grabbed my cheeks to I was looking at him.

"Riku don't you see it would hurt me to not know. Please Riku I need to know."

"Sora do you really mean that?"

"I do Riku you're….. my best friend." It nearly killed me inside to hear him say that. I wish all of this could go away. I wish he never saw my cuts. Then I wouldn't be stuck in this situation. I let out a small sigh. Fine you want to know everything I'll tell you. But promise me you won't think of me differently.

"Promise."

"It all started when I was 7. Before I was born my father was abusive to my mom by it was only when he was drunk and he was only drunk on the weekends when he didn't work. One day he was really mad. I don't even know what he was mad about but he raped her and that's kinda how I was made. They don't know that I know but I heard them screaming about it one day. After I was born he stopped drinking and abusing my mother. Actually my mom said that he was happy when I was born. That he was excited to have a child. When I turned 7 he started drinking again and he started beating me. He never touched my mother again. So I started taking care of myself thinking that he would be happy that I didn't need to depend on him so much. It didn't help though he continued to hit me. Soon after my mom stopped sticking up for me; she started to completely ignore me all together. She treated me like I was nothing. Though out the years it just got worse but every night I would pray that he would come to his senses and stop. It never did stop though. I actually became jealous of you and Kairi and I would wish that I had what you guys had; a loving family."

"On the day of my 9th birthday my dad he…..he raped me. I remember trying to fight him off but he was too strong. He came into my room and he was being so nice to me that I thought he would finally stop hurting me; he actually gave me a birthday present. I was so happy that he finally loved me. He slapped me across the face and pinned me to my bed. I tried kicking him and crying out for my mom but she wasn't home. I cried through-out the whole thing. I remember me asking why you are doing this. Why does it hurt so much; why can't you make it stop hurting. I shouted stop it about a thousand times but he wouldn't stop. It hurt like hell but the worst part was that I couldn't do anything about it. I hated myself because I couldn't stop it but I hated him even more because he was the one doing it to me. I couldn't stand to look at him because of that day. After he left my room I threw his present against the wall and glass went all over my floor. That's when I began to cut myself. Every time my mom left the house he would come into my room and rape me and every time after words I would cut myself leaving long, deep cuts on my legs. It got so bad that I almost killed myself. I didn't though because I thought that I deserved all of this. I looked at it as a punishment because I was born and my father never wanted a child." I stopped talking to take a drink of water.

I wanted to run away and hide. Thinking about the past always made me want to cut myself even more. It always brought these sick thoughts in my head. That would make me hate myself even more.

"He never did stop rapping me. So when I was about 14 I started to pretend that I enjoyed it and soon after that I actually did enjoy it. Sometimes I couldn't wait till my mother left. Whenever my mother wasn't paying attention I would tease him; it always got to him. I'm sick I know but I couldn't help myself and still can't. I don't know why I enjoy it; I wish I didn't. "

"When I left this place I was so happy to be gone; I thought that it was finally over and he could never touch me again but I couldn't help but miss you and Destiny Islands. I wanted to be with you. Having sword fights or playing in the ocean like we used to. When you finally found me I thought you would hate me forever because of everything I did. So when you started to cry I was so confused. When we got back though I figured that my parents would be happy to see me but I filled myself with false hope. The day I came back my dad he beat me up and wouldn't stop saying that I should have stayed gone. That everyone would've been happier without me. That night he hit me so hard that I actually blacked out and couldn't remember a thing. The next couple of days though my memory slowly started to come back to me. After a week of being back he stopped hitting me and abused me emotionally."

I stopped talking not wanting to remember the words he said. The words that cut through me. The words that made me hate myself more than anyone ever could. Sora was at my side and had his arm around me.

"What happened next?" He said in a small whisper like he was almost about to cry but he was doing everything in this power not too. I felt like I was being interrogated by a therapist.

"He would say awful things to me every day. The things he said they killed me inside. I actually started to believe him and to this day I still do. I'm just like he said. I'm worthless, disgusting, hideous and unloved and never should be loved. I hate myself and can't stand to see the person looking back at me in the mirror. I hate my reflection; it's like its laughing at me. I'm no good. I can't stand to see myself."

That's when everything really hit me. I was opening myself up to the person I held dearest to me and after he heard my entire life story he was gonna hate me too; just like everyone else. But yet he held me tighter and pushed me closer to him like he didn't want me to leave him ever.

"Why are you holding me? Why don't you hate me like everyone else? What the hell why can't you hate me like everyone else and make everything easier?" He made it so I was looking at him again.

"Riku I promised you I wouldn't think of you differently and nothing you could ever say will make me think of you differently. Riku you're not sick because your father rapped you; and you're not sick because you liked it. I could never hate you ever. I-I need to tell you something." It looked like he was leaning in; like he was about to kiss me. I must be seeing things because he would never want to kiss someone as disgusting as me but yet here he was leaning in getting closer to me than ever.

"Hey boys what are you doing?" Sora's dad walked in. Sora quickly stepped away from me and went to check on the pizza.

"Uh hey dad we were just making pizza. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Well it is my house." He said laughing "I forgot something…now where did I put….ah there it is. Ok bye boys be good while I'm gone.

Sora's P.O.V

Agh how could I have been so stupid? I was about to kiss him; and my dad almost caught me. What was I thinking?

"Sora what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

"Oh what yea it was nothing." I felt horrible. I couldn't tell him that I actually liked him. What if he doesn't like me back?

Riku's P.O.V

"Are you sure it was nothing?"

"Hm yea nothing…pizza's done."

We both ate the pizza in silence. I didn't want to look Sora in the eyes. I looked everywhere but at him. Stove, Table, Refrigerator, ceiling, back to the table. I was too stuck in my thoughts. Was he really about to kiss me or was it in my imagination. Would he even like me? No impossible he likes Kairi. What if he did like me? Would I be able to come out and tell him my feelings? Why does all of this have to be so confusing? Why can't I just come out and tell him how I feel? No I can't do that. He would think I was a freak. He probably already does since I told him that I enjoy have sex with my dad. Only a freak would enjoy it. I can't ever let him know that I like him. I can't be with him; I'm disgusting and a freak of nature. I can't taint him, I just can't. He would hate me if I tainted him with my sickness. I couldn't take how silent it was. It became too much for me to bear.

"I'm gonna go take a nap."

"Hm yea ok."

Sora's P.O.V

I didn't mean for it to be awkward and not talk but I was too caught up in my thoughts to even speak. "I'm gonna go take a nap." He said still not wanting to look at me.

"Hm yea ok."

Argh I've ruined everything! He obviously noticed that I was going to kiss him earlier and now he doesn't even want to look at me. I got up and threw away the rest of the pizza and started to pace back and forth in the leaving room.

"Sora"

I heard Riku say very distantly coming from my bedroom. Maybe he needs something? I thought to myself. I stopped pacing and started to walk upstairs to my bedroom.

"Sora"

I walked in and Riku was sound asleep. Am I going crazy? I could have sworn I heard Riku call for me. I turned around to go back downstairs and watch TV when I heard him call my name again. Except it was differently from all of the other times; this time it sounded like he was moaning.

"Ah Sora…. oh please….. Sora….. don't stop."

I walked closer to where Riku laid on my bed and noticed a bulge in his jeans. I couldn't believe this. He was having a dream about me…..and we were. I could feel myself turning different shades of crimson. All the while Riku continued to moan in his sleep. I knew I should have been freaked out by this and should have left. I felt so awkward but worst of all I was actually getting turned on by all of this. I could feel my jeans getting tighter by the minute.

I noticed that he was starting to wake up so I ran and hid in my closet hoping he wouldn't see me. I thought he was going to get up and leave but he unzipped his pants and began to rub his throbbing member. I couldn't look away. Weird thing was I wanted to go out there. I wanted to be the one touching him. I wanted to be closer to him than anyone else could be. I was getting turned on all over again, and Riku's moans weren't helping either. Right when I thought I wasn't going to be able to take it anymore he stopped.

"Damn it! He could have heard me! I can't do this anymore what if he walked in on me….this is his house not mine."

He then left my room to take a cold shower was my guess or maybe he left my house all together. I quickly got out from my closet and left my room before I got any ideas of my own. When I walked downstairs Riku was sitting at my kitchen table. I sat down across from him but I refused to meet his eyes.

"Hey Sora"

"H-Hey Riku" I squeaked when saying this.

"Sora what's wrong? Look at me. Is it something I said?"

"Hm no….Riku is there anything you left out from your past? No secret crushes or something like that?"

"Sora is there something you're trying to tell me? Come on we all know you like Kairi and well there's nobody else on this island I'd consider."

"What-what if I don't like Kairi; what if I never did and I like someone else?"

"What are you—"Before I let him finish his sentence I walked over to him and kissed him; nothing to deep but a sweet little kiss.

"What if I wanted someone else? Someone I've been friends with and I've known forever. Someone who's way sexier than anyone else I've ever known and will ever know." Before I got the chance to kiss him he pulled me in and kissed me. This time it was a passionate, deep, sexy, the kiss told each other exactly how we felt about each other. Something I've been waiting for forever. Kissing him wasn't enough though. I wanted to be closer to him.

Riku's P.O.V

I was somewhat shocked by what was going on. I came down here to be alone and next thing I know Sora's kissing me. Sora has never been this forward with someone. I pulled out of the kiss that left us both breathless.

"Sora what brought this up? Why me; why not Kairi?"

"I don't know Riku…I just thought I should tell you I feel, and why not you? Riku you're wonderful, my best friend, absolutely gorgeous and what I love most of all is that you're beautiful on the inside not just the outside. You've also been there for me all my life. Whenever I needed you, you were there for me. Even if all I needed was someone to let me cry on their shoulder. You did everything for me and made sure nobody messed with me. You stuck up for me when I wasn't able to and when we were all missing you did everything you could to help me wake up. As for Kairi she already knows I like you and she likes Tidus." He kissed me again but I pulled

"Sora I know you. You never tell your crushes you like them. You usually wait it out. So what happened?"

"I uh I don't know." He didn't meet my eyes so I knew he was lying. Then it hit me.

"Oh you didn't see….Sora…. that was—" Before I could even finish he began to blush.

"I heard you calling my name and so I went to check on you….and I hid in the closet when you woke up and you began to well you know. I wanted to ignore what was going on but then I realized that I want to be with you Riku. I want to be the person you show off. I want to be the person you can kiss whenever you want without having to worry about it being awkward or wondering if I like you. Riku I want to be with you for as long as you let me."

He kissed me again. I was totally embarrassed that he saw me and heard me but yet I loved everything he said. I wanted him to be there for me and be with me. I wanted to be his boyfriend and kiss him whenever I wanted just like he said. I wanted to do all of those things. Most of all I wanted to be there for him and let him know that I want to be with him too and that I will never let him go. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me.

I licked his lips to let him know that I wanted entrance and he gladly let me. We both fought over dominance but I quickly won when he let out a moan. He began to put his hand under my shirt and he softly slid his hand up my chest, while his other hand was tangled up in my hair.

"Sora…we…can't….do this." I said breathlessly.

"Why not Riku" He said while kissing my neck. "You were dreaming about us well you know. So what changed? What you don't want me know!"

"Sora that was just a dream! You can't tell me you haven't had a sex dream. Sora I care for you a lot, probably more then you will ever know which is exactly why I'm stopping this. You're not ready yet."

"But Riku I want to"

"Sora I don't care if you want to. I don't think you're ready. I sure as hell wasn't! I just don't want you to regret it if we do go all the way. I don't want you to hate me. Please Sora, we can't; not yet."

"Riku I'm so sorry! I don't know what came over me. I know I was being stupid and you're right. I'm so sorry."

"It's ok…. We all have crazed hormones at one point or another that we can't control." I said laughing hoping that would make him laugh too.

"Riku none of that should have happened to you; your dad is crazy to do all of that to you. I hate that all of that happened to you and that you think you're worthless but Riku you're not. You need to know that. I promised myself that I was going to help you no matter what and stop all of this and now I'm going to promise you that I will always be there for you no matter what you need."

"Sora you don't know how much this means to me. Now let's stop the cheesy moment and go do something. Oh and if you ever tell anyone that I was this cheesy I will hurt you."

"Psh we all know you could never hurt me." He said kissing me again "I promise though I will never tell."

"Now let's go to the ocean."

Sora ran upstairs to change and I couldn't help but smile. This is probably the happiest I've ever been and it's all thanks to one short tanned spiky haired boy.

-Time Skip- :D

Sora and I were having a great time at the ocean. I didn't have a worry in the world for once.

"Riku remember when we used to come here every day and do just about anything."

"Yeah those were the days. Sitting on the tree and watching the sunset, playing pretend fight which I always won."

"You did not! I remember winning a couple times."

"Key word _couple" _I said laughing even more.

"Shut up Riku" Sora said laughing to and lightly pushing me but I grabbed him right before he turned away and kissed him.

"Come on let's go lay down."

We laid down on the warm sand and everything felt so piece full.

"This is going to make me sound cheesy once again but I never did ask Sora will you be my boyfriend?" I said sitting up and looking at him.

"Like it wasn't obvious but of course; I would love to be your boyfriend!" Sora said glomping me so I fell down into the sand. He started to kiss me. Everything felt so right. I loved being here with him.

"RIKU what the hell are you doing! I should have known you were gay! My own son; how disgusting! Get your ass up now! It's time for you to come home and we need to have a "talk""

Sora quickly got off of me and we both got up from the ground.

"No he's not going anywhere with you! I won't let you hurt him!"

"And what the hell are you going to do about it? He's my fucking son! I can do whatever the hell I want with him"

"Please Sora I need to go with him or it will be so much worse especially for you." I whispered in his ear. "I'll see you whenever I can but right now I need to go with him"

"But Riku I promised you that I wouldn't let anything happen to you!"

"I know and I love you for that but this can't be helped." I kissed him on the cheek making it so my dad wouldn't see. "Bye" and with that I walked off with my pissed off dad.

Sora's P.O.V.

I watched Riku walk off with the man I hated most in the world. I felt like I was breaking my promise to him. He really went back. He was soon out of my sight and I dropped to the ground and cried. "I already broke my promise. I'm so sorry."

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Ok So it was much shorter than I orginally wanted it to be but I'm still pretty happy with this chapter. I tried to go into a lot of detail in Riku's past but I thing that kinda failed. I've been typing this chapter all day. Of course I procrastinated (spelling?) and thought i wasn't going to get this done until 3 in the morning. But that didn't happen! ^^ Also I would like to give a BIG thank you and little shoutout to Shoumai. Thank you so much! I love talking to you and you make me laugh with our love of Ritsuka and also making me want to finish this story. :D Ok now to start thinking of ideas for chapter 5. Might be able to get that done soonish since its winter break! Okk peace out and thanks to all who have read this and reviewed.


	5. Closer To The Edge of Insanity

So I just wanna thank everyone who has favorited/reviewed/or anything else because this is pretty much plotless and I just type whatever comes to mind... . I really need to start thinking of plots with my stories! But any who thanks a lot! So here's the fail and crazyness of chapter 5.. Oh I do not own any of these Characters Square Enix does and plus I think it's a good thing I don't own these characters ;D Why is it that people like to abuse their favorite characters so much? Oh and just to worn you there will be a lot of cussing and a lot of abuse in this chapter, and also Riku seems a little well to put it into nice terms insane...

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My dad pushed me inside of the house and I ended up falling on the stairs. I felt numb. One minute everything was perfect and then the next I was in my own personal hell! I could care less about what my dad did to me but what worried me is what he could or might do to Sora. I knew there would have to be have to be a price to pay. Just as long as he didn't touch Sora I would be all right. My dad was yelling about something but I was thinking and didn't even hear a single word he said until he slapped me across the face and pinned me so I couldn't get off the stairs that I was currently laying on.

"Damn you Riku! My own fucking son is gay! I can't believe this."

"Well Maybe...Just maybe if you haven't been fucking me since I was 9 I wouldn't be gay!"

"Fuck you!" He slapped me across my face again. I knew this was getting to him. I may not ever hit my dad back but that didn't mean I wouldn't say what ever the hell I wanted to. Especially if I knew that what I would say would get to him. And my dearies you might be asking why would I not just fight back? Well to answer your question children cause I love tormenting him! Don't get me wrong I know I shouldn't be doing this but hey what's life without a little revenge?

"You already did that remember." Hmm maybe I am just as crazy as him.

"Shut up! You stupid whore! You're nothing to me!"

"Aw now daddy shouldn't you love your children not matter what? I mean daddy that's no way to treat your only son."

"Shut up! Shut up!" He said while hitting me. "I don't love you!"

"But daddy that's not what you say when we have our _'quality time'_." I know this was all getting to him. My plan was working.

He let go of me and started to pull at his hair. He quietly started to mumble things to himself. It almost made me sad to see him like this, but after all the hell I've been through I think I deserve to say a few small words to him.

"Wow father. Just more proof that you're insane. You really need to get help." and with that I walked upstairs to my room and for once I felt accomplished; I won. Sure I got slapped a couple times but hey that's the price to pay for getting just a little revenge.

Sora's P.O.V

I don't know how long I've been sitting here, or how long I've been crying. Why would Riku go with him? Do I mean nothing to him? I've never hurt him in anyway and yet he leaves me for the man that hurts him every way possible.

"Hey Sor what's wrong?" I looked up to see a very worried Kairi staring down at me.

"R-Riku he's..." I couldn't even finish my sentence I was too upset and plus what would Riku say if he found out I told Kairi his biggest secret?

"Oh sweetie did he find out you have a massive crush on him?"

"I don't have a massive crush on him, and yeah he did find out. Actually he confessed to liking me too."

"Sor then why are you crying? You should be happy and be celebrating!"

"I'm just a little upset something happened and well it's really effecting me."

"Well go talk to Riku. I'm sure he can help with whatever is wrong. I got to go met Tidus but if you need anything hun I'm here for you." With that she walked away.

"I wish Riku could help." I mumbled to myself. Please let Riku be ok. I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to him. I got up from the sand and started to walk home.

Riku's P.O.V.

"Riku you open this fucking door!" I heard my mom screaming and pounding on my door to my bedroom.

I got up from where I was lying on my bed and opened the door to see a VERY pissed off mother.

"Anything for you mother."

"Don't play this game with me Riku! Just what in hell did you do to your father! He's been sitting there starring off into space, rambling some nonsense shit for an hour!"

"Mother why do you think I had anything to do with what's wrong with him?" I said cocking my head to the side just a little bit trying to look confused and innocent as possible.

"Damn it Riku! What did you do to my husband!"

"Why do you insist on taking his side when you know what he does to me! Where's the mother that I used to have? The one that acutally care about me! I'm your son!"

"I don't give a fuck that you're my son. You are just a constent reminder of all the shit I've gone through to keep you alive and the shit I had to go through before you were even born! I should have just let him do what ever he pleased when you were first born. You're nothing but a mistake that we both never wanted."

"But you said he was happy when I was born! You said that he never touched me!"

"Well you know what Riku I lied. He wanted you gone from the very beginning but of course I had to be stupid and think that we should keep you."

"Mom do you hear what you're saying! You're making me sound like I'm a stupid animal that you decided to adopt! Please don't do this. I'm not a reminder, I'm your son! The one that you wanted. That's what you said!"

"I never wanted you! Hell the only reason why I was pregnant with you in the first place was because I was raped."

"And you honestly don't think I haven't been raped?"

"He wouldn't even think about doing that with a piece of shit like you." She turned around and left me. How could she not see that I've been tortured by him!

Of course she's her husband that's why! Before I could even think about cutting myself I jumped out my window and climbed down my tree to run to Sora's house.

"And just where do you think you're going?"

"Oh dad I uhh didn't see you there. I was just going to go for a walk."

"Don't lie to me. I know you are going to go see that Sora kid!" He came over and slapped me across the face

"Why do you care! God just give it up already and let me be!"

"No you're my son!"

"You sure don't act like a dad!" I said almost wanting to punch him in the face

"I know! Please Riku don't leave!" He said falling to the ground crying. He had his hands rolled into fists that were clutching my shirt. "Please just don't leave me."

"Dad?" I fell to the ground. What the hell is going on here. He's trying to trick me! He has to be; but yet I still felt the urge to wrap and I did.

"Dad why?"

"I'm so sorry. Please just don't hate me."

"Come on. Let's go inside." I picked up my dad and started to lead him into the house. I noticed that once we got inside my mother was no longer home.

"Can we just talk upstairs in your room?"

"Hmm yea anything you want." I started to lead him up the stairs. I was so confused about what was going on but yet I felt worried about him. I couldn't leave him now. We got upstairs and I placed him on my bed before shutting my door.

"I'm sorry. I-I've been a horrible dad. I know that but Riku please you have to understand I just couldn't handle seeing you grow up. I truly do love you." By now he was standing up and had his hand on my cheek. I looked away for just a moment and he took that to his advantage and kissed me.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!"

"Please Riku give me this! I need it. I want to be closer to you." When he said this his hands were working on unbuttoning my pants. I know what's going to happen next and I know that i can't stop it but the question was did I want it to stop? No of course I did! I'm dating Sora! I can't be doing this!

"Ple-Please dad stop!"

"I can't. I love you. I truley do." He now had me pinned against my bed. I don't even know how he managed to get me over to my bed without me noticing. This was all happening so fast. Hell when did he manage to get all of his clothes and mine off?

He didn't take the time to prepare me, he didn't take the time to give me sweet kisses, nor did he take the time to be gentle. Sure I should be used to it by now but no matter what I couldn't get over how much it hurt. I pounded into me not even stopping till I got used to him or anything.

It hurt so much worse then all the other times. I began to cry like I did the first time this all began. The memories started to come back to me and I started to cry even more. I could hear his moans and grunts from above me but I could see his was getting pissed that I wasn't getting turned on by any of this. I continued anywas.

I'm not sure when it all stopped, I'm not sure when he got up and put his clothes back on, I'm not even sure of what he said to me before he left and I'm totally not sure of when I got up and ran to Sora's.

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Ok so I know this chapter is much shorter then the others. but I haven't had a lot of inspiration which is why I didn't upload for a couple weeks.. I don't even know how long it's been. But on the happy side of things I have thought of a plot for this story and I just started to write a new fanfic and it is Kuroshitsuji just to let you know but I don't know when I will post it but I'll let you know how that's going.


	6. Fake Chapter!

PLEASE READ! Ok So two things here

1. I noticed a load of mistakes in my last chapter so I'm sorry. I noticed when I meant to put 'him' I accidently put 'I' So I ubber sorry about that ^-^

2. This isn't an actual chapter in the story. This is what the story was _going_ to be. Since I don't know when I'm going to be able to post again or when I will actually get around to writing the real chapter. My Kuroshitsuji story is kinda getting in the way but I promise I will not give up on the kh story! So I thought since you guys are amazing I will give you how the story was going to start. I might do this time to time and give you sneak peeks of future chapters when I'm bored or something :D

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Sora's P.O.V

I let out a soft sigh after looking at the clook. It said that it was already past midnight. Why can't I just fall asleep? What's the point of even asking my mind if I already knew the answer to that. I let out another sigh. "I'm never going to get some sleep if I keep thinking about _him_" I sat up on my bed and stared into the darkness. After a couple of minutes I laid back down and rolled to my side. I don't remember when I actually feel asleep but I was woken up by the sounds of bird chirping. The sun was beaming down on my tanned body. When I sat up I saw _him_. I didn't know what to say. The guy who keeps me up at night because I can't stop thinking about him, the guy that I would love to be with was standing in my bed room.

"Riku?"

"Oh hey Sor. I didn't wake you did I?" Riku said nervously while running his hand through his silver hair.

_'God he's so cute when he's nervous.'_

Before I knew it I was getting smacked in the face wih a pillow.

"Jeez what's with you Sora? I'm gonna have to start calling you spacey."

I gave him one of my signature pouts as I hit him with the pillow he just smacked me with.

"Nothing. So uh what are you doing here?"

"Can't I come see my bestfriend? Jeez I'm offended that you would treat me like this." He said all dramaticaly while falling down on my bed.

"Well yeah but I thought you were mad at me, I mean you've been avoiding me A LOT lately."

"Yea sorry about that. I promise I'm not mad at you I just had to sort somethings out. Plus I thought you were kinda mad at me."

"I could never be mad at you Riku." I could feel my cheeks getting hotter. I can't believe I just said that! Riku got back up and turned around to look out the window.

"Do you wanna spend the day together? Just you and me... We could go swimming and then go back to my place and watch movies like we used to." Riku said after a really long awkward pause

"Yea sure let me get my stuff and I'll meet you at the beach."

Normal P.O.V

Even though Sora said he would meet Riku at the Beach he was too excited and ended up walking with Riku there. Sora was so happy that he was talking to Riku again.

"Damn the beach looks amazing I wish I brought my sketch book with me."

"Riku I didn't know you drew."

"Yea I started while after we well you know."

"Yea I know." I said looking down at the cool sand not wanting to meet his gaze.

"If you want I could show you some of my art later."

"I would love to see your art!" Sora said while jumping up and down.

Riku laughed at his friend and started to pull off his shirt. Sora thought he was going to faint when this happened. He couldn't help but stare.

"Sor you coming?" Riku said while getting into the water.

"Hm oh yea." A slight blush came over Sora's cheeks when he realized Riku was looking at him. After a few hours they both decided that they both had enough of swimming and wanted to go watch some movies. On the way to Riku's they bumped into Kairi and Selphie but they were practically drooling over Tidus so the two teens didn't stop to talk. After what seemed like forever they finally got to Riku's house.

Riku's P.O.V

I couldn't help but laugh at the adorable burnnett when he was looking at my drawings.

"Riku you art is amazing! I love it. I wish I could draw like this."

"Well I could teach you sometime. So what movie do you want to watch."

"Hmmmm I think we should watch...Anastasia!"

"Seriously Sor? That's a disney movie."

Sora gave me one of his pouts and he looked so cute that I couldn't deny him.

"Ok you get it ready and I'll go make some popcorn and get us some drinks." I said trying not to laugh at him.

We sat on my sofa talking before the movie started and eating popcorn.

About an hour into the movie I felt something fall on top of me and was shocked to see that it was Sora. The next thing I knew Sora was practically in my lap. His soft brown hair was tickling my face. _'He looks so adorable in his sleep. He's so peaceful.' _I ran my hand through his hiar. I had to fight the urge I had to kiss him. I was spacing out so much to notice that Sora was calling out my name in his sleep. When I finally came back to reality I noticed it was already 11 o' clock. "Well I can't let him go home now." I said to myself. I picked him up and carried him to my room. When I sat him down on my bed he woke up.

"Riku... What are you doing?" Sora said with a cute kitten yawn.

"Well it's late so you can spend the night here tonight."

Sora quickly got under the covers and looked up at me.

"Riku you're going to be cold with just boxers on."

"I think I'll live." I said with a slight chuckle.

When I got under the I couldn't help but move closer to Sora. I loved how he let our a cute little squeak when I moved closer to him. Sora fell asleep within a minute of laying down and I just sat there staring at him. This time I wasn't able to fight the urge and I kissed him on the lips.

Sora's P.O.V.

When I woke up I felt Riku's arms around me. I didn't know why but it felt so right. I loved having Riku's muscled arms around me. I felt safe like nothing could hurt me. _'What the hell? Why am I thinking about this?' _I knew I had to stop thinking like this. I moved Riku's arms even though I didn't want to leave him. I turned around so I was facing him. _'Riku looks so attractive while sleeping; with his bangs in his face and he looks flawless. Damn it! I'm doing it again. I just keep setting myself up for this.' _I let out a soft sigh. I couldn't help it I had to move his bangs out of his face to see the rest of his face but they ended up going right back into place.

"Sora what are you doing?"

"Hm um nothing." I could feel my face turn many different shades of red. I couldn't believe I just did that. I looked up and I saw Riku's gorgeous sea green eyes looking at me.

"Sorry for having arm around you the whole night. I kinda got cold and well you were so warm so I couldn't resist."

"Told you, you would get cold!" I said while laughing and throwing a pillow at him.

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Hope you guys liked it! It was orginally suppose to be Riku in the very beginning but I thought it worked better with Sora. ^-^


	7. The Real Chapter

So here it the real chapter of Maybe It's Time To Change! ^-^ Hope you guys like it.

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Sora's P.O.V

I sat on my bed wondering what happened to Riku. I was so worried about him. I still couldn't figure out why he would want to go with him. Wasn't I enough for Riku? Wasn't I suppose to help him and not let him get hurt? I looked over to my nightstand and saw that my journal was out I picked it up and threw it at the wall across my room. I went to get up and go downstairs to talk to one of my parents. Right when I was about to go out the door I looked down and saw that the journal was opened to the day that I found out that I liked Riku. I picked up the journal and started to read. I already had a smile on my face but the time I read the second sentince.

_Riku he's he's amazing and I think that I might like him as in more then a friend.. I know everyone thinks that I should be with Kairi but Riku's he just so argh I don't even know the words to describe how I feel right now. Riku and I've been friends for so long I just feel so close to him. He's perfect, beautiful, he's always there for me when I need him. I know it's probably wrong for me to like another guy but I can't help the way I feel. If I found out Riku liked me back I would fight for him if people tried to rip us apart. But what if he doesn't like me?_

_xoSora_

It felt like I wrote this a million years ago but yet it was only dated a couple years ago. I shut my journal and placed it on my desk and continued to walk downstairs.

"Hey dad"

"Yea"

"Uh I was wondering if you could tell me about what it was like growing up with an abusive dad."

He looked away from me for a moment to look out the window. I always hated bringing up the past for my dad but I had to know.

"I'm sorry dad I didn't mean to bring up painful memories."

"It's ok son. Well it was really hard. Not knowing when he was pissed off or in the best mood ever. He was cruel. I don't think I ever told you but he killed my mother."

"WAIT you told me grandma died in an accident."

"I'm sorry but it was just really hard to tell you. You would have loved her though. You get a lot of your personality from her. Any who it wasn't till I meet your mother that I was finally able to stop all of this and put him in jail."

"Dad... I have to tell you two things. First off Riku and I are kinda dating."

"Well that doesn't suprise me on bit."

"Woa woa what?"

"Well your mother and I always knew there was something between you guys and we kinda had bets going to see when you to would finally come out with your feelings"

"DAD!"

"Hey I'm sorry son but you two obviously have something special. Plus you two did look pretty cozy in the kitchen earlier."

"Argh you have got to be joking."

My dad kissed me on my forehead. I loved my parents to death. My mom was usually working a lot so I was closer with my dad.

"Ok son what is the second thing."

"You have to promise me that you won't tell anyone!"

"I promise"

"That's not good enough. Pinky Promise me that you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you."

"I pinky promise that I won't tell anyone what you are about to tell me."

"R-Riku's dad kinda abuses him."

"Sor you know I have to tell the cops about this."

"Dad please! You can't say anything. -"

He cut me off before I could even finish what I was going to say.

"Fine I won't and maybe you could be like your mom and do what she did for me and help Riku."

*THUMP THUMP*

"Well since your mom isn't home I think you have company that just came through your window. I'll make an extra plate for dinner."

"Thanks dad." I gave him a hug. "For everything that you do for me."

I turned around and ran upstairs. "Riku" I said while opening my door. Just as I shut it I was pinned up against it and Riku was kissing me.

"Well hello to you too." I said right before he kissed me again. The kiss wasn't as sweet and innocent as it probably should have been. No instead it was rougher and his tongue was begging for entrance. His hands were under my shirt. I pushed him away.

"Woa Riku weren't you telling me earlier that I wasn't read for this and that you wanted to wait."

"I'm so sorry I-I." He fell to the floor crying. "I'm a horrible person. I'm disgusting, screwed up, tainted and I don't deserve to be with you. I let my dad have sex with me whenever he wants and I shouldn't like it but I do."

I fell to the floor and sat on his lap putting my arms around his neck. "Riku you're not horrible, you're amazing." I said kissing his neck "You're not disgusting you're beautiful in every way possible." I said while kissing the other side of his neck. "You're not screwed up or tainted just cause you've been raped and abused your whole life." Once again kissing his neck. "So what if you get turned on by your dad it's your body doing that not you." This time I gently bite his neck. "And don't you EVER think that you don't deserve to be with me cause you're the only person I would ever want to be with and I don't think I would be able to live my life without you." I kissed him on the lips.

"Sora do you really mean all of that?"

"I do. Now what happened?"

"Well when I got home he started to hit me but I outsmarted him and I ran up to my room. Later my mom came up and started yelling at me saying that they both never wanted me. Just as I was about to run away to your house my dad caught me and broke down crying and I thought for once that he was actually sorry for everything. I took him upstairs to my room and he he well ya know and then left and I ended up here."

"I'm so sorry Riku you don't deserve any of this. You can spend the night here and my dad already knows you're here. Oh and he also knows about us dating."

"You told him?"

"Yea and he said that it wasn't a suprise and that he and my mom had bets to see when we would actually start dating!"

"I love your parents Sor!"

"Ok enough about my parents. I just want to go back to kissing you."

"Hmm a little blunt arn't we?"

"Shut up." I said while nibbling at his neck once again.

"Sor I don't-"

"I said to shut up." I kissed him on the lips and he gave me entrance for my tongue. I was shocked that he was actually letting me be the dominte one. Of course though when I moaned he took over.

"Guys dinner!"

"Your dad always ruins the fun."

"Yea he does but we could always continue this later." I said giving Riku a smirk.

"You're going to to make this waiting thing extremly hard!"

"That's the kinda the point!"

* * *

See happyness ^-^ I wanted to make Sora's dad abused cause I figured I could go off of that and we will learn more about his past in future chapters. Also I added the makeout scene cause this can't all be serious am I right? There shall be more SoRiku scenes but I'm not sure when but probably soonish? Thanks for reading!


	8. When The Parents Leave part 1

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Honestly I've just been really lazy and haven't even thought about writing. Trust me I'm not lying and if I was I would at least come up with a better excuse then that. I'm gonna start this chapter off with Sora's dad just cause I thought he should have a little part in the chapter. Hope you guys like it! ohh there is a inapproprate SoRiku scene in here just warning you. Don't like it don't read.

* * *

Sora's Dad's P.O.V.

During dinner I kept thinking about Sora and I's talk. I know I should discuss it with him further but it was alway so hard to tell. I would sneak glances at Sora and Riku who were secretly holding hands under the table. Every now and then I would see them sneaking glances at eachother and I knew that they were truly meant to be. Just looking at them reminded me of Sora's mother and I when we were younger.

"So Riku if you want you can stay here tonight."

"Thanks I would love to."

"Ok well Sora your mother and I are leaving for our trip tonight so you two will be home alone. Now I don't want you two um well you know doing stuff-"

"Dad! Seriously I perfer to not have this talk with you or mom." Riku was laughing his ass off while Sora was glaring at him which only made him laugh more.

"Don't worry I promise that I will be a gentlemen and keep my hands off Sora."

"Well good. Now I have to go finish packing. I'll talk to you later."

* * *

Sora's P.O.V.

"Let's hope you won't be to gentlemen like while my parents are gone."

"Sor come on you know I would love to but well I just don't want to go to fast."

"Yea yea I know. Do you want to finish eating our dinner upstairs?"

"Sure why not."

As soon as we got upstairs and started finishing our dinner my mom came in to tell us bye and her and my dad were gone. It's offical Riku and I would have the house to ourselves for 2 whole weeks!

After what seemed like a million hours of playing video games. Riku and I both decided that it would be best to go to bed. Riku had his arms wrapped around me and I was completly happy and felt like nothing could ever go wrong. I inched closer to him.

"You're so adorable I hope you know that Sor."

"hmmm yea sure." I said about ready to fall asleep. I looked up at him and let out a kitten yawn. Which only made him laugh at me and nuzzle his head into my hair.

"Goodnight Riku."

"What no goodnight kiss? I feel insulted Sora. I guess I should go sleep on the couch then." He was getting up to leave.

"No stay." I said pulling on his arm making him lay back down with me. I then gave him his goodnight kiss and I tried to make sexy as possible. Which worked because I heard a moan slip out of him.

"Well I guess I should ask you for kisses a little bit more."

"Night Riku."

"Night love."

* * *

Riku's POV

I watched as Sora slowly feel asleep. He was so adroable. I watched him a little bit more before I finally decided that I should go to sleep. I was woken up by Sora trying to get out of my arms. When I finally got used to the darkness around me I saw that he had a situation. Well I guess I could have some fun with this. Especially since he's been wanting to take things further. Even though I knew what he was trying to get up and take care of his problem and that's why I felt that I should play innocent.

"Sora? What are you oh oh I um."

"Uh well isn't this just a tad bit awkward."

"Not really."

"Can you please let go of me so I can go to the bathroom and get rid of this situation?"

"Or I have a better idea."

"Riku what are-" I cut Sora off by kissing him roughly on the lips.

I was only gonna help him but once I started I realized that I wonder to take it a tad bit further then just simply releaving him.

"R-Riku what happened to waiting?"

"Well I think you need to be helped right now so that's what I'm gonna do."

"Well I'm not gonna be the only naked one here so come on start taking some clothes off."

"Once again very blunt arn't we?"

Once I took off my shirt I started to attack his neck. I earned a cute little moan from him. I slowly started to work my way down making sure to kiss every inch of his stomach. I stopped right at the hem line of his pants. I figured I showed tease him just a bit. I slowly ran my tongue up his stomach and went back to kissing him. He gladly gave me access when I ran my tongue over his lips. I then stopped in the middle of his kiss and started to nibble on his ear.

"Uh R-Riku stop teasing me." Sora said arching into me. I would have to make a mental note that his ears were his weak spot.

"Aww whats wrong Sora you don't like it when I don't that." I said right before biting his neck.

"Damn it Riku! Please!"

"Please what?"

"Riku don't make me say it."

"Aw but weren't you the one that wanted to take things further? I mean I can stop if you want me too."

"NO! Please Riku just-" I was already pulling off his pants before he could finish his sentence.

I started to rub him through his boxers.

"Riku" He moaned

God I loved the way he said my name like that. It only wanted me to go against everything I said about waiting even more. I knew if he kept saying my name like that I eventually would. Before I took off his boxers I looked up into his eyes which were lust filled.

"Sor do you want this?" He couldn't do anything but nod. I kissed him one more time and took off his boxers. I kissed him on his thighs slowly making my way up. I took him in my mouth.

"Oh god Riku!" Sora said arching into me again. I started bobbing my head up and down moving at a steady pace.

"Uh Riku." Sora was now clutching on to my hair.

"Riku. uh Riku." God he sounded amazing. I was just about to give up and fuck him right then and there.

"RIKU!" That's when I felt something hit my head. "RIku wake up!"

"Hm what!" I was suddenly jolted awake by Sora smacking me upside the head.

"Having a good dream? Your uh kinda sticking into me."

"Oh oh I'm sorry. I was uh yea. What can I say I just can't get enough of you when I'm awake so I like seeing you in my dreams."

"Seriously Riku? You must dream about me a lot. I woke up to you moaning into my ear."

"Yea sorry about that."

"So want some help with that?"

"Hm what?" Next thing I knew I was being attacked by Sora. He was kissing my neck, my lips, and my ear. Pretty much he anywhere he could find.

Lets just say I had a pretty good night. I never thought Sora had it in him. I never thought he would be so good at giving a blowjob.

* * *

Sora's P.O.V.

I woke up this morning and I was extremly happy. Riku and I went further then making out. Of course I do feel somewhat guilty because he did want to wait. The only thing is I didn't know why he wanted to wait. I looked around for Riku to find that he was nowhere in my bedroom or bathroom. Just when I was about to have a break down and thought that he had left and went home I heard the banging of pots and pans downstairs in the kitchen.

"Well good morning Sora."

"Morning. So uh most I say you're pretty loud last night." I said while kissing him on the cheek.

"Well what can I say you were fucking amazing. I think I'll have to pay you back tonight and show you exactly what I can do."

I quickly looked away trying to hide the blush that was covering my face.

"You're so cute when you blush."

"Will you shut up."

"So what do you want to do today love?"

"Oh I have an idea." I said kissing him.

"Well I like the sound of that."

* * *

And once again hope you guys liked it! And thanks for reading and fav/reviewing and stuff like that. Oh and I'm somwhat finished with typing the first chapter of my Kuroshitsuji story. But I'm not sure if I want to tell you guys the name of it just yet. ;D Bye!


	9. Do I love him?

So I know this is a lot shorter then usual but I haven't really been motivated to write anything for this and I wanted to at least upload something so I hope you guys like it! And thanks for all the reviews. You all get a cookie -hands out cookies-

* * *

Riku's P.O.V.

"Sor what do you have planned?"

"I'm not telling!"

"Come on Sora. The Suspense is killing me! Just tell me what were gonna do today."

"Nope. You're not gonna get it out of me."

"Oh? I think I have an idea of how to do that." I pulled on his hand so that he was standing right in front of me. I gently kissed him. "So?"

"Nope still not going to tell." He said with a mischevious smirk

"You're gonna be the death of me." I said while holding his hand and kissing his temple as we walked.

As we walked I let my thoughts wonder. Did I really love Sora? I mean we've only been dating for what a couple of days. Yet we have been friends since I could remember. But was this love? He was amazing. He was beautiful. He helped me when I needed it the most. In fact he's always been there for me when I needed it. He had a great personality. He was funny, the nicest person I have ever met. The list of how amazing Sora really is just goes on and on. It never ends. I could think of why I like him for the rest of my life and I would never be truly done. Maybe this was love; but then again I have never actually loved anyone or anything so how am I suppose to know what love is like? Then there's all those people that I've been with that he doesn't even know about. Sora only knows about my dad. Ugh what am I gonna do?

"Riku...Riku...Hello? Anyone there?"

"Hm what did you say Sora? Sorry I kinda spaced out."

"Yea I could kinda tell."

"Sorry."

"Stop saying your sorry."

"Sorr- Yea I'm just gonna shut up now."

"Riku what were you thinking about."

"Uh just stuff."

"Riiikkkkuuuu. Seriously I don't want you to be depressed again."

"Sora really it was nothing. So are we almost there?"

"Yea we're getting pretty close."

After that it was complete silence again. It was a little bit awkward but maybe it was only awkward for me. It's times like these were I'm so glad that nobody could read my mind. Especially Sora. Just how am I going to tell him that my dad isn't the only person that I've been with?

"Riku we're here!"

"You've brought me to the old cave? I know we haven't been here in years but why the cave?"

"Cause you and I used to come here all the time when we were younger. This was always our spot to get away.

"Yea before you brought Kairi here."

"Will you let me finish?" He said sticking his tongue out at me to let me know he wasn't mad.

"Like I was saying this was our spot. Also if I remember correctly this was where you first kissed me."

"Oh yea. You were 12 and I was 13. We were playing truth and dare and you said you were nervous for your first kiss and that you didn't know what to do. So I kissed you."

"Yep. So I thought this would be the perfect place for us to go and have a picnic."

"You're so sweet Sora." I said kissing him.

"Come on lets go in."

We walked in the cave and set down a blanket for us to sit on and we put down our basket right by the blanket. I looked over and saw a drawing of Kairi and Sora.

"So uh nice drawing."

"Oh that? Seriously Riku that picture means nothing! I'm with you and not Kairi and I will NEVER be with her."

"Yea I know but I can't help to feel a little jealous. What can I say you make me feel like I've never felt before."

"Oh shut up and eat your food." Sora said right before kissing me.

* * *

Riku's Dad's P.O.V.

I could see Riku and that that boy walking outside. It made me sick. Riku was suppose to be mine!

"Dammit!" I said as I hit the table that was infront of the window.

Seeing them together holding hands I coudln't even describe how I felt. I had to get Riku back though. I knew that for sure. I can't even imagine what they do together. Riku living there 24/7 probably sleeping in the same bed. they could've...No I don't think they...They couldn't have! Riku's Mine!

"Where could they be going?"

"S-Sweetie what are you doing?"

"Nothing! Mind your own buisness!"

* * *

Sora's P.O.V.

"Come on Riku! Lets go swimming."

"But Sor I don't want to."

"Please Ku." I said.

"Ugh Sora don't pout like that. You know I can never say no to your pouts."

"Exactly why I do them."

"Alright fine we can go swimming."

-a hour later-

"Thanks Ri for going swimming with me."

"No problem. Now lets go home so I can get something to eat."

"Seriouosly your already hungry? We just ate like 2 hours ago."

"Your point?"

"Ugh fine lets get you home."

Riku and I ate an early dinner and then went to go play some Left 4 Dead 2. After about a million hours of playing that we went upstairs to my room.

"So Riku I think you own me a little something."

"Hmm ohh yea." He said while kissing me. Slowly inching his way down to my neck.

"Well good night."

"Your kidding me Riku!"

"Sora I promise you in a couple days I will make you the happiest person ever."

"Oh really who says your that good?"

"Well I guess your gonna have to wait and see."

And with that we both fell asleep.

* * *

Sorry the ending is crap. :p


	10. I'll get him back

Wow! I feel like I haven't written in forever! Maybe because I haven't? Ahh I'm soooooo sorry it took me forever to post a new chapter! Thank you to anyone who is still bothering to read this! And thanks to anyone who has reviewed/favorited it means a lot to me! The only reason why it took me so long is cause I wanted to write this chapter in Riku's dad's pov but I didn't know what to write for it! Honestly I had no inspiration what so ever for his POV. Then bam I randomly thought of something to write. I know it's not that good and I know my chapters are REALLY short but once again thank you to anyone who is still reading this story. As for my Kuroshitsuji story if any of you are reading it I am still working on it and I do have somewhat of a plot for it. I'm working on chapter 2 right now I'm just figuring out how I want to lead up to everything and how long I want to drag out Ciel trying to find his sister and why they are seperated.

I don't own any of the characters in here. And all that Jazz.

Hope you guys enjoy!

* * *

**Riku's Dad's POV**

* * *

I paced back in forth in my bedroom. I could hear my wife pounding on the door begging for me to let her in. God she didn't get it though! I didn't want her! I wanted nothing to do with her, I wanted Riku. But no my stupid whore of a son was off with that other kid. Sora I think his name was. This wouldn't be the first time Riku was with someone else but it was never like this. He was normally with them for what a day? Or at least until they fucked and he would never talk to them again. Why did this stupid kid have to be different! Couldn't he just leave my son alone! He's suppose to be mine and no one elses! Why would he leave me? Wasn't I enough?

_No of course I wasn't. I raped him. I abused him. The things I said to him._

NO! He's suppose to be with me no matter what. He probably enjoys what I say to him. Come on he obviously enjoys it when I have sex with him. The way he teases me, the way he moans for more. He's nothing but a whore who wants his father to do him over and over again.

_No he doesn't enjoy it. You've seen the cuts on his legs. He does that because of you. Because of what you do to him. It's all your fault._

No stop it! It's not my fault. He practically begged for it. He shouldn't have teased me like that. God why does my son have to be so attractive! Why do I have to be so attracted to him? He's like a drug and I want more and more. I can't stop. He's so addicting. Every time he's under me I can't help but get turned on. And when he moans out my name and calls me daddy I loose control!

_You sick bastard. That's your son. How can you be so sick in the head. You have a beautiful wife but here you are locked in your room flipping out cause you think your son is a good fuck._

But he's not just a good fuck. He's so much more then that. I remember on his 9th birthday that's when I first lost control. I couldn't help myself. My wife was away and I saw the perfect chance and I took it. The way he looked up to me with those pleading eyes only made me want to be roughter with him and that's exactly what I did. It gives me a sense of pride to know that I took his virginity from him.

I looked down. I was obviously turned on by all the thoughts I was having about my son.

"Oh god how I wish you were here right now Riku. The things I would make you do to me. I can just here your moans now." I said out load snorting another line of coke.

"Please dear just let me in!"

My wife was still pounding on the door and my "problem was getting worse by the minute. I got up and unlocked the door. I pushed her up against the wall kissing her.

"H-honey."

"You would do anything to make me happy right love?" I said biting her neck

"Ahh y-y-yes!"

"Good."

_You're sick. You're thinking about Riku right now. Pretending it was him under you and not your wife. You're a sick bastard. You deserve to rot in hell. You don't even deserve to be alive right now._

I ignored what the voices in my head were saying for once and didn't fight back with them. Of course they were wrong. There was nothing wrong with me. I wasn't sick. But they did have one thing right I was wishing that it was Riku and not my tramp of a wife. That's all I could think about was Riku. I didn't even want to think about what he probably did with that that boy. It was to sick to even think about. I had to get him back no matter what the cost. He will come back to me! He has to. I know he will. He can't live without me. He needs me.

_Why would he need someone like you? He hates you!_

"NO SHUT UP!"

"H-Honey?"

"Get out! You're nothing but a sick tramp!" I said slapping her across the face.

_He hates you._

"No! He needs me!"

_He hates you._

"He needs me!"

_Keep telling yourself that but he will ALWAYS hate you._

"He can't live without me!"

_Really? Cause from what I see he hasn't been home in a couple days and he's doing just fine. He was even gone for 2 years and he survived._

"He doesn't hate me."

_Yes he does. He can never love you._

"NO!"

_yes._

"N-no!"

_yes._

"He needs me. He loves me. He can't live without me. Oh god! He doesn't hate me!" I said falling to the ground. Holding my head in my hands.

_you know all those things are a lie. He doesn't need you. Never did. He hates you and will never love you. He loves Sora. Not you._

"No. H-he"

_You don't believe yourself anymore do you? You don't believe all your lies that you tell yourself just to get through the day anymore. You're starting to see the truth. _

"I'll get him back. No matter what."


	11. I love yous and the past

Riku's POV

* * *

It was so peaceful to be laying here with Sora in my arms. I looked down to see Sora curled up against me. His hands balled up and holding a little bit of my shirt in them. His hair was had fallen into his face long ago. You could hear his steady breathing. His lips were parted and his face looked kind of flushed like he was trying to hold back tears. He looked beautiful in every way. Maybe it was about time I told him the truth? I finally come to the conclusion that I love him. What can I say he's my other half. My soul mate if you believe in that type of stuff. But how is he gonna take the fact that I've been with so many other people. If I could take back all the stuff I did I would in a heartbeat. If it means him being happy. I do want all my little secrets to ruin the only good thing in my life. I looked back at Sora. He looked like such a little kid the way he was sleeping.

I looked at the time seeing that it was 11 in the morning. Well I'll let him sleep a little more before waking him I decided. I ran my hand through his hair. In a couple days it was gonna be my birthday, meaning I knew Sora was going to have something planned. It wouldn't be him if he didn't. Just what though? I really don't want to do anything for my birthday but be with him. Actually that was the day I was finally going to give him what he wanted. Why not make it the best birthday ever?

"Hmm Riku?"

"Yea babe?"

"What time is it?"

"11:30" Jeez a whole 30 minutes passed and I didn't even realize it. I must be wrapped up in my thoughts.

"Mmmm okay." Sora said right before pulling the covers over his head and curling up into a little ball.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was just so cute in the morning. Actually he was cute 24/7.

"You know Sora if you don't let me go I can't make you breakfeast."

"Breakfeast? Well why didn't you say so! Come on chop chop Riku. We don't have all day." He said jumping out of bed.

"I know that would get you up and moving." I said while laughing

"Riiikkkkkuuuuu come on! I'm hungry." He said while giving me one of his pouts.

"I'm up, I'm up." I said picking him up.

"Riku put me down!"

"Haha nope. You're getting carried all the way downstairs."

"But Riku-"

"No buts So-ra."

"Fine Ri-ku."

_**-15 mintues later-**_

"Mmmmmmmmm these are so good Riku! I love your cooking." Sora said shoving food into his mouth

"Chocolate Chip pancakes. How did I know that you would love them." I sat down next to him at the table and started fidgiting with my fingers.

"Is something wrong Riku?"

"Hmmm what?"

"You okay? You seem kinda spacey and look like you have a lot on your mind."

"Yea I guess I do."

"Mind sharing?"

"Welll uhh not right now."

"Why not!"

"Cause it's waayyy to early in the morining to deal with drama."

"Ohh ok." Sora said looking away sadly.

"I will tell you this though."

"What!"

I scooted closer to Sora and put my mouth right by his ear. "I love you." I said right before I bite his ear gently.

I looked at him and saw that he had a blush across his face.

"Yo-you mean it?"

"I wouldnt' tell you it if I didn't Sor. And I know this isn't exactly romantic but I couldn't hold it in any longer. I wanted you to know."

"I love you to Ri."

"So Sora what do you want to do today?"

"Hmm can we just stay in and watch movies."

"Just as long as I get to cuddle up with you we have a deal."

"Deal."

"Sooo So-ra my birthday is coming up and-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there Riku. I'm not telling you what I have planned." Sora said plopping down on the couch.

"Well let's hope its not to much." I said sitting next to him.

"Why is that?"

"Well I wanted to have some fun with you. If you catch my drift." I said while bitting his neck and pulling him closer to me.

"Nnnghh Riku. Lets...just watch the movie."

"Hmmm did I find your weak spot Mr. Sora?"

"Shut up Riku."

"Fine. What do you want to watch first?"

"How about a horror movie?"

"Sor you get scared during those."

"Yea so? It gives me an excuse to be closer to you."

"Hmm you're so sneaky."

"Well I try." Sora grinned sedcutivly and if I wasn't wanting to wait I probably would have taken him right here.

"Sora you have no clue how much of an effect you have on me." I kissed him passionatly.

He bit my ear which was doing nothing good for me. "Really Riku. I think I found your weak spot."

"I- you- uhh- movie."

"What was that Riku? I couldn't understand you. What is it that you wanted to do?" He said while continuing to bite my ear and neck. Kissing all the way up to my jaw.

"This...isn't... fair... Sora..."

"I think it's perfectly fair."

"Sora...Sora.. Stop." I said putting my hands on his shoulders and gently pushing him away. I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Why Riku? Am I seriously not good enough for you?"

"Sora that's not it."

"Then please tell me."

"The-The reason why I don't want to has something to do with my past. It has nothing to do with you. Hell I find you sexy as hell and I find it extremely hard to keep my hands off of you have the time."

"Riku if this is about your dad raping you-"

"It's not that. Lets just say my dad isn't the only person I've been with."

"Ho-How many others?" He said looking away.

"A lot. I don't even remember how many people anymore."

"Do you have any?"

"STDs? No, I'm clean. Promise."

"Any other secrets?"

"Well lets just say at one point I actually got payed to be with people and well for awhile I was addicted to certain stuff."

"What stuff Riku!"

"Well you know coke."

"You have got to be kidding me Riku!"

"I was stupid but I promise you I haven't done any drugs since us leaving the island. I promise."

"Wh-What about you sleeping with people?"

"Well when we got back I kinda had a small thing but that was only cause I was frustrated and I like you at the time and I didn't know if you liked me so I had a random hookup."

"When did it stop?"

"A month before we started dating."

"Promise that's all."

"Promise."

"So you're really clean?"

"Yea. I'm so sorry Sora. I really didn't want you to find out like this. I was afraid to tell you. I didn't want to ruin our relationship. I love you and I mean it with all my heart."

"I'm not mad Riku. A little upset and shocked yes but not mad. You have a past and other people are obviously in it. I just have to get used to it."

Sora wouldn't look at me when he said this so I knew I had hurt him. I felt horrible I didn't know what else to say so I just turned on a random movie and I pulled him closer to me.

"I really am sorry, and if I could take back me ever doing that shit I would."

"It's ok." He said looking up at me and giving me one of his famous Sora smiles but I could tell that it was a fake.

* * *

So Pretty much next chapter will be the same day; It's just gonna be in Sora's POV and it's gonna be about his thoughts on this. Then I'm gonna have a time skip and it's gonna be Riku's birthday. Thanks to all the people that are still reading this and sorry it takes so long for me to post a new chapter!


	12. No one said this was going to be easy

So I'm not even going to try and feed you guys some bullshit of why I haven't uploaded sooner. Yea I probably have like a million reasons but when it comes down to it I was just lazy :p

So here is the next chapter. I'll try to upload the next chapter sooner but I can't really promise you anything. Thanks to whoever is still reading this and I don't own any of these characters. I really feel like I need more emotion... I just fail at putting it in here. Hopefully it's better than the last chapter...Soooooooooo enjoy!

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Sora's POV

I tried to focus on the movie. I tried to not let it show that I was in fact upset about Riku being _with_ other people. I mean sure it was obvious he wasn't a virgin but I didn't think he was with that many people. I mean this changes things. I didn't even want to think about all the negative things that could go wrong with this.

"Sora are you okay?" I looked up slightly to see Riku ignoring the movie and watching me. Was he watching me this whole time? Could he tell that I totally wasn't okay with everything he just told me? I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to lie but I didn't want him to know I was acutally upset about this! I mean I have no reason to be upset. It was before we even dated. So what he had a life. So why was I freaking out about all of this? I did the only thing I could do at this point; I smiled.

"I'm perfectly fine. Now shh I'm actually trying to watch the movie unlike a certain silver-haired teen."

"Okay okay I'll be quiet. I just wanted to make sure you weren't bothered by what I told you."

"Nopei'mamazing." I said too fast and nervous. Riku gave me a weird look and went back to watching the movie.

Oh god! He probably knows something is up now! I most likely just blew it! He knows somethings up and he just doesn't care and what am I going to do? Why am I freaking out so much!

"I lied!" I splurted out. "I'm not okay. I don't know why but it just bothers me!" I jumped off of the couch and stood infront of the TV. "I mean lying to me about the whole cutting thing is one thing but did you really have to keep me in the dark about your random skanks? Oh and let's not forget the drugs! Really? Could you not trust me or what?" I wanted to just run away and hide. Curl up in a little ball some where and cry. I didn't want to be having this argument. I'm not even sure if I wanted to know all of this!

"Sora! It's not really something I want to tell people! It's not like I'm going to come straight out and say that I used to be a prostitute and used to do drugs! It's not really a good break the ice starter." Riku jumped up from his seat at that point too. "I'm sorry! I really and truely am but I can't change my past, I just have to live with my mistakes even if that means hurting you. I took the wrong path so what!"

"It's not a so what type of situation! You've known me for how long Riku? You know I would be the last person to judge you!"

"Oh really then what do you call this!" He said about to turn around and walk up the stairs, but I ran infront of him and stopped him dead in his tracks.

"I'm not judging you Riku, I'm just hurt! How would you feel if you found out that I had sex for money and did drugs?" I said throwing my hands up. We're were barely 5 minutes into the fight and I already wish I could take everything I said back. I didn't want to fight with him.

"Honestly yes I would be pissed but I would understand that you made mistakes and that you obviously regret them so I wouldn't waste my time picking stupid little fights like this!" He screamed right before turning around and walking out of the house. With the door slamming right behind him.

I was left alone with my thoughts. Which was really something I didn't want right now. I sat down on the stairs and started to cry. Why am I making such a big deal out of nothing? He's right. It's _**HIS**_ life and he obviously regrets the things he's done. He had every reason to not tell me. I wanted to go after him, I _**Should**_ gone after him but I just didn't have the energy. I felt physically drained. I hated fighting especially with Riku. I knew I was wrong and that I should stop being so damn stubborn. He took a wrong path because he was abused by his father. All he knew was hurt. I got up and went upstairs. I walked into the bathroom and dried my eyes. My face was a little red and my eyes were somewhat bloodshot. I ignored all of that. I ignored the stinging in my eyes, the tear drop that rolled down my red cheek and walked back downstairs and out the door to go find Riku.

Of course that didn't go as planned either. It seemed like I was looking for Riku for hours. In reality it probably has only been 10 minutes since I started the search for my silver haired boyfriend if I could even still call him that. I saw him sitting on the beach right by the water. I quickly ran up to him. I sat down by him and didn't say anything for the first minute or two. I just looked out to the water. I don't think I ever really saw the beauty in the water. How calm it is.

"You've been crying." I looked at Riku to see that he was staring at me. "Sor I honestly never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do."

"I know, and you're right. It's your life and you obviously regret the path you took to get here. You were hurt, you didn't know how to deal with the fact that your dad abused you. I'm sorry I blew up on you." I said while leaning my head onto his shoulder.

"It's okay I understand why you did." Riku said while putting his arm around me. We sat in silence for about 5 minutes before I finally got the guts to say the one question that I've been wanting to ask.

"Ri, have you been with anyone that I know?"

"I have acutally." I gulped. I didn't know if I wanted to know who but if I didn't find out it would probably bother me for the longest time and I didn't want to explode on him again.

"Who?"

"Well there's Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, some other kids from our school, even some of our teachers. Then some random people who live in town."

"So nobody from the other worlds?"

"Nope. What do you really think I would have sex with one of the orginization members? Now that's just gross. I will admit Axel was pretty-"

"Don't even finish that sentence!" I glared at him and jokingly pushed him but I couldn't keep my laughter under control and ended up braking the glare.

We went back to silence and just cuddled up next to eachother while we looked out at the water. I couldn't help but glance over when I noticed a figure not to far from us. It was of course Riku's dad. I didn't want to say anything to Riku. I didn't want to worry him. It's not like his father could do anything to us at a public place.

He did look pissed though. I could see that he was jealous. I stuck my tounge out at him and he just turned away sending glares at me. That probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but I was so tired of him ruining what Riku and I had. He was in Riku's past and I was Riku's future. He wasn't coming back into the picture; I wouldn't let him. He would never harm Riku again.

"Hey Ri, are you still mad at me? I never wanted you to be mad."

"Well no one said this was going to be easy but no I'm not mad. You had every right to blow up on me."


	13. I can't love anyone the way I love him

Once again I have no excuse that I haven't uploaded. Please don't hate me though. I hope everyone had a great holiday! Also have a great New Years everyone! Hopefully I'll be able to upload this faster? Hmm lets see about that... Enjoy! BTW this is Riku's side of the fight and how he felt about it.

Disclamier: I don't own any of these characters! I keep forgetting to but that in the beginning of my chapters. .

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Riku's P.O.V

"I lied!" Sora splurted out. "I'm not okay. I don't know why but it just bothers me!" He jumped off of the couch and stood infront of the TV. "I mean lying to me about the whole cutting thing is one thing but did you really have to keep me in the dark about your random skanks? Oh and let's not forget the drugs! Really? Could you not trust me or what?"

I was shocked. I don't know why I was, I really should have expected that he would have something to say."Sora! It's not really something I want to tell people! It's not like I'm going to come straight out and say that I used to be a prostitute and used to do drugs! It's not really a good break the ice starter." Ijumped up from the couch too. I glared down at him. "I'm sorry! I really and truely am but I can't change my past, I just have to live with my mistakes even if that means hurting you. I took the wrong path so what!" I was over this argument. I wish I never said anything about my past.

"It's not a so what type of situation! You've known me for how long Riku? You know I would be the last person to judge you!" Why wasn't I sure about that? Why did I think he would judge me.

"Oh really then what do you call this!" I said trying to walk up the stairs so I could go lock myself in the bathroom or something but Sora stopped me in my tracks. I could feel my eyes starting to get watery. I didn't want to cry, not infront of him. I wouldn't be able to handle it if he were to judge would kill me. I just had to get out of this house before I did something that I really would regret.

"I'm not judging you Riku, I'm just hurt! How would you feel if you found out that I had sex for money and did drugs?" He threw his hands up. I could tell he was about to cry.

"Honestly yes I would be pissed but I would understand that you made mistakes and that you obviously regret them so I wouldn't waste my time picking stupid little fights like this!" This fight wasn't stupid. It was needed, but my anger was working faster then my brain. I turned around and walked out of the house and slammed the door on my way out.

Why did life have to be so complicated? None of this would have happened if it weren't for my dad, but yet I don't think I would be with Sora if he didn't do all the things he did. "Well at least he's good for something." I thought out loud.

The worst part about this whole fight was the fact that Sora thinks I can't trust him. Oh how he was dead wrong. He's the only person I can trust in this world, and I couldn't even tell him that.

"I'm such a jackass." I said as I ran my hands threw my hair. Sora probably thinks I'm the worst boyfriend ever, and it's true. I do nothing but hurt him. I looked out at the water. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sora sitting beside me. I glanced at him to see that he had been crying. God he didn't deserve me. He deserved way better.

"You've been crying." I was now staring at him but he was looking out at the waves. "Sor I honestly never meant to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do."

"I know, and you're right. It's your life and you obviously regret the path you took to get here. You were hurt, you didn't know how to deal with the fact that your dad abused you. I'm sorry I blew up on you." Sora said as he put his head on my shoulder.

"It's okay I understand why you did." I put my arm around him and held him close. We sat in silence.

"Ri, have you been with anyone that I know?" I looked at Sora. I wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him this, but he had to know and I had to get it off my chest.

"I have acutally." I looked down at the sand. I knew exactly what question was going to come next.

"Who?"

Bingo. I guess it's time to confess.

"Well there's Tidus, Wakka, Selphie, some other kids from our school, even some of our teachers. Then some random people who live in town." I couldn't look at him in the eyes. Not now, not during this conversation.

"So nobody from the other worlds?" Sora couldn't look at me in the eyes either. I would die to know what he was thinking. I just hope he isn't judging me.

"Nope. What do you really think I would have sex with one of the orginization members? Now that's just gross. I will admit Axel was pretty-" I started laughing.

"Don't even finish that sentence!" Sora glared at me and joking pushed me but he couldn't help but laugh to and stopped glaring at me.

We cuddled up next to eachother and sat in more silence. I was happy to know that this was behind us. At least I hope it is, but everyone knows that things have away of coming back up to the surface and biting you in the ass. I looked over at Sora and saw that he was now staring over at something behind us. I glanced over to see my dad standing there glaring at us. I looked back at the water and pretended that I didn't notice, but I still managed to see that Sora stuck his tongue out at him. I silently laughed at how childish Sora could be but loved him for it.

"Hey Ri, are you still mad at me?" I looked at him once again. I could never get tired of seeing his beautiful face. He looked like an angel. I guess you could say he was my gardian angel. Sure it was cheesy but it was the truth.

"Well no one said this was going to be easy but no I'm not mad. You had every right to blow up on me." I kissed him lovingly. "Come on lets head home and finish watching that movie."

"AH! I forgot to turn the movie off! We missed all of it!" Sora said freaking out, pulling on my shirt trying to get us to go home.

"Sora calm down. We can always rewind the video." I laughed and put my arm around his waist.

When we got home we both plopped down on the couch and went back to watching to movie. I still couldn't concentrate though.

"Sor. I hope you know, I do trust you. Your the only person I can trust in this messed up world. I love you."

"I know Riku, and I should have never doubt that you didn't. I love you too." Sora cuddled up next to me and I kissed his head.

Sora and I both must have fallen alseep because I woke up to a sudden flash.

"Aww my baby is so cute! And Riku you look so adorable! The way you held Sora so protectively and ohh Sora you had the biggest smile on your face! Oh you two are just so cute! My baby-" Sora's mom went off. She looked like she was about to cry because she was so happy.

"Come on Honey. Let's go upstairs and leave the boys alone." Sora's dad tried pushing her upstairs which proved to be a struggle since she kept going on and on about how "Her little baby" was growing up.

Once they were both finally upstairs Sora and I looked at eachother with confused faces and we ended up laughing to the point were we both had tears in our eyes.

"I thought... y-y-your parents...weren't suppose to be... h-home for at least... another week or so?" I said trying to get some air and trying to stop laughing.

"I-I... guess... they decided... to come early!" Sora laughed.

I looked at Sora's eyes to see that they were shining bright. They were gorgeous. "You have beautiful eyes." I said finally being able to stop laughing.

I kissed him passionatly.

Truth be told, I could see me spending the rest of my life with Sora. I can't love anyone else the way I love him.


	14. Excuses

Okay. So all of you are still following this story probably think I'm such a piece of crap for not uploading, but I actually have an excuse this time and it's legit! My laptop absolutely sucks and hates me and it only charges when I'm holding in the charger. Making it hard to type. I need knew battery and well I'm too broke. So hence why I haven't uploaded. I also didn't have my laptop for like 4 months or so because it was getting fixed. I promise you though I'm working on a new chapter. I'm trying to get it up as soon as I can. My laptop is successfully charging on it's own right now so I'm typing it up now but I wanted to let you guys know why I haven't uploaded cause I feel awful. So thank you to everyone who has actually remained interested in this story and I'm soooo sorry. I hope you guys are all doing fantastic and hopefully I'll get the 14th chapter up soon. The story probably isn't going to be as long as I wanted it to be because of I suck at uploading but I do have plans for this story so don't worry!


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